Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
