i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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