he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
