we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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