Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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