could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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