wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
