I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
