New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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