just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
