That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dicks are not precious.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something