I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she peed on how many people?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
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