What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
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dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.