# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.