tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
