I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
