im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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