I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
