Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
