You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
