I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize