What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
