I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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