oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This is my gift to your gina
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
