Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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