i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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