If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
