the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
