He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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