You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
