I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
