Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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