I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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