i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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