Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
