what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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