oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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