operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
