is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
