I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
