how hairy? two words: wookie tits
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
