Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
