He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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