Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
