you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
