whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
