Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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