Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
