Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My penis needs a shock collar
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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