Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
