Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
