some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
