You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
