i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
