Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
