i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
