I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize