worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
