Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
