real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
