checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
