remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
