went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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